I am Her

I am Ophelia
I am Sara
I am Sylvia
I am Her

I am the woman with the slashed arteries
I am the woman with the overdose
I am the woman whose head is in the gas oven
I am the woman in the cold river

Yesterday I stopped killing myself
I am in my own prison
Closed doors
Dark windows
Schizophrenia

I am alone…
With my eyes, hands, and thighs
I am alone
With my memories, my rejections, and my head aches
I am alone, alone, alone

I am Ophelia
I am Sara
I am Sylvia
I am Her

I burn pictures of men I loved and those who abused me
On the chair
On the table
On the floor
Not on the bed

I try to strangle myself with my shoe laces
Too thin
My weight breaks it apart

I try to drown
The river denounces me
It simply cannot hold my existence

I inhale gas
I can’t fall asleep
My body seems to fight that stench

I am Ophelia
I am Sara
I am Sylvia
I am Her

I set fire to my prison
I break the dark windows
I jump on the closed doors

I throw my clothes into the fire
I stab the pulse which was my heart
I take it out, throw it into the fire
I go onto the street, clothed in my blood
Death is my new best friend